What you can do if you have to take care of twins on your own?
Don't blame yourself
A part of you may feel a little down about the fact that you will raise your twins alone. Perhaps you may surprise yourself by feeling resentful or jealous of other women. These feelings are normal, don’t suppress them. Share your emotions with a loved one and write down any negative thoughts. If you feel like it, have a good cry or try to meditate [1].
Raising your twins alone won’t make you better or worse than any other parent. It’s just a fact of life. And it’s much better to raise them on your own than within an unhealthy relationship, which can be the case with many families that are considered “complete” [1].
Ask for help
Be very realistic about what you can do alone and reach out to close friends or relatives for support. Find communities of single moms on the internet, they can be a treasure trove of good advice. Don’t refuse help, sometimes people that you didn’t consider to be that close to you can be very sensitive and understanding [1].
Those who haven’t been in a situation such as yours may not fully grasp what your needs are. So be specific about what type of help you want, like doing laundry, cooking a meal, or babysitting while you take a shower [2].
Find someone to help you with night duty from time to time and use earplugs so you’re not tempted to tend to the babies yourself. Even six hours of uninterrupted sleep will help you dramatically. Also, make sure to take a nap whenever you can, it’s healthy for you and the twins [2].
Allow yourself to be imperfect
A twin pregnancy can be pretty stressful in itself, which can increase your chances of suffering from depression [3]. When it comes to single moms, the chances are even greater. This can put you at risk for mental "burnout", especially if you are very demanding of yourself and want to do everything perfectly.
While taking care of twins, you need to clearly understand what is important and what is not. If the kids are fed, comfortable, and safe, consider the day a success and congratulate yourself. Everything else can wait — including dirty dishes and laundry [2].
Have an outlet
With two babies in your arms, it seems like rest is an unaffordable luxury. Nevertheless, you should try to make time, at least 30 minutes a week, to do something you love and that gives you a boost. It can be anything from a walk in the park, to playing an instrument if you are musical or engaging in another activity you enjoy. Don’t feel guilty about getting a small break. Without a proper outlet, you won’t be your best self while taking care of your babies. So ask someone to babysit for a little while and enjoy some “me time” [2].
Remember that you are capable of a lot
The first year of caring for twins is hard. You can easily feel overwhelmed and think that nothing is working out. At times like these, it's helpful to take a five-minute break, take your mind off of whatever you are doing and remember what you have been able to accomplish. By looking at the big picture, you will realize that you have done a lot of things right, and you should feel good about that [2]!
Your efforts will not be in vain. Twins can be very independent and organized, and at some point, you won’t have to be in control of every little detail because they will start to handle many things on their own [2].
Phоtо: shutterstock
