Your older child suddenly wants to nurse or have milk in a bottle. They may even want a diaper or ask to be spoon-fed. Let’s learn what is behind this behavior and how you can react.
The first reason is a slight regression in development [1], which results in the child losing newly mastered skills. They may ask for a binky, stop going to the potty, or refuse to go to sleep on their own . These behaviors should are not an attempt at manipulation or a whim; your child is just trying to adapt to a new situation. Imagine you just learned to drive a car and then moved to another country. Would you feel comfortable getting behind the wheel right away? No, you’d probably want to adjust. Your child is experiencing stress, and their skills will return within a few weeks [2]. In the meantime, be patient, avoid shaming them, and encourage their efforts.
Another reason behind the regression could be that the older child feels they have to compete for their parent’s love, a natural instinct meant to ensure survival [3]. There are many ways a child can try to attract attention; one is to imitate their new sibling’s behavior. Pay attention to your older child, hug them, take them in your arms, and remind them how much they are loved. If a child between the ages of two and five asks for the breast, pediatricians don’t see anything wrong in offering it; “most likely, the child will find the experience strange and forget the desire” [4]. Another option is to explain that breast milk and formula are meant for babies and not for older children, “but we can have some cocoa if you want”. One more option is to pour breast milk (or formula) into a mug and have them try it [5].
The main thing is to try to understand your child and not reprimand their “infant” behavior. Make it clear that they are loved, cherished, and appreciated. Making your children feel equally loved will help build a healthy relationship between them [6].
