Having someone, besides the medical, team with you can make labor and delivery more or less stressful, depending on who that person is and how they behave.
How do I know if I need a birth partner?
The presence of a partner does not always make childbirth easier. What defines if a woman will be better off with a loved one beside her during labor is her physical reaction to them. If she instantly calms down and relaxes with the person’s energy, voice, and even scent, then there’s a good chance that their presence will be helpful and may even encourage her body to produce more of the hormone oxytocin, which stimulates labor.
In addition, studies have shown that when a partner is nearby, women usually endure childbirth more easily and they often have positive emotions regarding the process [1]. They also have a lower risk of experiencing postpartum depression [2].
On the other hand, if a loved one is a source of anxiety or tension, then the body will produce the stress hormone adrenaline, which reduces oxytocin levels. When a partner is nervous or behaves aggressively with the medical team, the laboring mother will also feel the stress. This also applies to mothers, friends, and sisters. During labor and delivery, a loved one should be a source of calm support.
I want to give birth with my partner present, but he doesn’t like the idea — who should give in?
The decision to give birth “together” should be mutual, without concessions or persuasion, blackmail or insults. Your partner should be in the delivery room only of his own free will and ideally should want to participate and go through the process with you, not just observe. He can massage your shoulders, give you a sip of water, wipe your face, hold your hand, support you, and calm you down [3]. Of course, you should also want this complicity; if you do not, then your partner should not be in the delivery room with you.
Does your partner need training?
Yes, the best way to prepare is by taking a class that will help them support and care for you during childbirth.
Will giving birth together affect our sex life?
When a partner is actively involved in the process of labor and delivery, literally helping the woman he loves to give birth, he will not be worried about what is happening to the perineum and will concentrate his entire energy on supporting you and keeping your energy up. This has no bearing on his future sexual desire.
Can several people be with me during labor and delivery?
When the rules of the maternity hospital allow, some women take with them a whole cheering squad! The support group may include their partner, mother, doula, sister, friend… However, the more the mother has to be social, the less oxytocin her body will produce. The best environment for giving birth is a calm one, with a partner who knows when to be silent and when to speak words of support or encouragement.
