A new baby will impact your whole family, including your older children. It’s a good idea to prepare them and allow them time and space to get used to the idea. But how should you talk to them, and when? What should you say, and what should you keep between yourself and your spouse? Here, we discuss how to talk to your kids about a new sibling.
When should we tell them?
Wait until you have confirmed you are pregnant. Don’t include kids in your plans to become pregnant until you are sure they are getting a sibling. At that point, you can start acclimating them to the change that’s coming.
What should we say?
This depends on your children’s ages. If you have a preschooler or a child up to age 7, show them pictures of babies and talk about where they come from in an age-appropriate way. You can buy a doll for your young child to care for and teach them to be gentle and loving with it. You can also include them in planning by letting them choose baby clothes or make decisions about the nursery [1].
Remember that children have a limited capacity for understanding everything about the new baby and the impact they will have on their life and home. Talk about the basics, such as the fact that the baby will cry sometimes and will sleep a lot [2].
With children between the ages of 7 and 12, you can talk about how they can help with the baby. They can help feed, swaddle, or lull the baby to sleep. You can even incentivize their help with privileges like a later bedtime or more opportunities to play with friends [2, 3].
With children aged 12-17, it’s important to emphasize that they will not be replaced by their new sibling or forgotten when the baby arrives. Kids this age may fear they’ll lose importance or their place in the family. Have one-on-one parent-child dates doing something your child enjoys. Continue this habit after the baby arrives to reassure your older children that they are loved and important.
