Even if the babies don’t come home with you in the beginning, you can find ways to be there for them. Just keep in mind that you have to get enough rest and sleep yourself.
Statistically, half of all multiple pregnancies end in preterm births [1]. Babies born at 37 weeks of pregnancy or earlier are usually sent to the neonatal intensive care unit. They may have problems with breathing, digestion, and heat exchange. Premature babies need close monitoring at first and may require some form of medical intervention [1].
Some babies spend only a couple of days in the NICU, others have to stay there longer. Either way, it's very stressful for mom. Not being with your baby all the time can be very difficult, and many women in these circumstances can feel guilty or even a little lost.
It's so frustrating. How can you stay calm during this trying period?
It’s important to try to maintain a logical state of mind. If your doctors have sent your babies to the neonatal intensive care unit, it’s because that is what’s best for them. Imagine that the incubators are peaceful, warm, and comfortable cocoons, and the NICU is a place where your babies are being cared for round the clock by highly qualified professionals [2].
What if this knowledge isn’t comforting enough?
It is understandable. When your heart feels overwhelmed with anxiety, sadness, fear, or anger it becomes difficult to see a positive side to things. Be mindful of the fact that postpartum hormones may make you even more sensitive and vulnerable [2].
Don't berate yourself for not being able to pull yourself together. Don't listen to those who say you have to be strong for the sake of your twins. Your babies aren't made healthier by burying your feelings inside.
Find a way to talk it out. Tell your partner or a loved one how you are feeling. Hopefully, your partner or someone close to you will be with you in the NICU, stress is much easier to handle when someone is there for you [2].
If anxiety or negative feelings overwhelm you, make a deal with yourself that you will only worry excessively at a certain time of the day. Choose 20 minutes to allow yourself to ponder on your worst fears and then stop. This technique can help you use up some of your negative energy, making the rest of the time easier to handle [3].
Coming home without your baby can be very difficult...
Separation from a child can lead to despair and can cause a mother tremendous anxiety. It is a normal, biologically programmed reaction.
Some hospitals allow parents to spend quite a bit of time with their babies while in special care, letting them caress their heads or hold their little hands. If the baby's vital signs are stable, they may use the kangaroo method, in which the baby is placed on the mother’s (or father’s) chest. This facilitates the healthy attachment babies need [2].
So even if you end up in the NICU, you will more than likely have the opportunity to be close to your babies. Make sure to remind yourself that you are doing the best you can. And don’t forget to make time for yourself, try to eat regularly, and get enough sleep. Even if the NICU is open for you 24 hours, it doesn’t mean you have to be there 24 hours.
You may feel guilty when you leave but put that aside. You need to rest and recover from childbirth and prepare yourself for when the babies are discharged because you are going to need plenty of energy once they’re home [2]!
Phоtо: shutterstock
