Some psychologists believe that parenthood begins even before conceiving [1]. Some couples change their lifestyle, make plans, and watch their health before they become pregnant. Here are five ways to keep your strength if you want to grow your family while caring for your first child.
1. Try to manage your stress
Even if nothing has changed externally, you are getting ready for a new role, and self-doubt can creep up with thoughts such as: "What if I fail as a mother of two?" or "What if I can’t take care of the baby as well as I should?" [2]. Don’t keep your emotions bottled up, sharing them with friends, family, or a psychologist can be very helpful. Online and in-person support groups are also a great idea.
You can also work through self-doubt by writing down your worries and sorting them out. Here are some examples:
"My older child may have difficulty accepting a new sibling."
Where did this idea come from? Where did you hear it?
Why would your older baby have a difficult time becoming a sibling?
Now turn the thought into supportive phrases:
a) "If I prepare my older child, they will embrace this new period, and will love and accept their baby brother or sister”;
b) "It's normal for an older child to feel a little jealous."
2. Reduce your load
Fatigue comes on when we are overworked. Set your priorities and work only on the most important tasks, home and child care. It’s also important to be realistic; if you can't handle a full-time job, consider your options and the changes you can make to your schedule or workload [2].
3. Move your body
It may sound counterintuitive because you may have little energy for a workout, but physical activity can help you cope better with everyday tasks [3]. You don’t have to exercise every day. Walking with your child at a brisk pace, playing hide and seek, or riding a bike together can be enough to make you feel more energized. Five times a week for 30 minutes daily is the recommendation for adults. You will feel even better if you add two strength training sessions to your week [4].
4. Get enough sleep
Research has shown that parental sleep deprivation can persist for up to six years after the birth of a child [5]. Moms who don’t sleep well are more likely to be impatient with their children and experience higher stress [6]. However, it is not impossible to improve sleep even with a small child [7].
Spend at least half an hour a day in sunlight; it will help adjust your sleep and wakefulness cycles and also help you fall asleep faster.
Do not sleep for more than 20 minutes periods during the day.
Go to bed at the same time every day, and keep your room dark and cool.
Do not drink coffee and other caffeinated beverages after 2 p.m.
Try to relax before bed by stretching, meditating, or doing slow breathing exercises.
If your baby is not a good sleeper yet, make a schedule and take turns with your partner so each can have at least four hours of uninterrupted sleep [8].
You don't have to do everything at once, even small changes can give you results.
5. Eat for energy
We are talking about whole grain cereals, nuts, and vegetables with a low glycemic index (GI). The slow-absorbing sugar in these foods can help sustain your energy for longer. In contrast, candy, pastries, potato chips, soda, and chocolate can give you a quick burst of energy, but the crash that follows may not be worth it and can place you in a cycle of eating sugary foods, experiencing a dip in your energy levels, and then wanting to eat more sugar to try to keep up. GI tables are easy to find online to help you choose foods with a low to medium index [2].
