In the first trimester, many women feel anxious and fearful about their baby's health. But the development during this period depends very little on your actions.
Why am I so worried?
Probably, someone has already told you that the first few weeks are the riskiest time in pregnancy. Maybe one of your friends or relatives lost a child at the beginning of pregnancy.
When you hear so much about potential problems, it’s hard not to run through worst-case scenarios in your head. But here’s the thing: the chances of a miscarriage are actually fairly small. It's much more likely that everything will be fine. While tragedies are memorable, they occur less frequently than normal, healthy pregnancies [1].
Could a miscarriage happen because of me?
Hardly. Most miscarriages occur for reasons that are beyond your control. The development of the embryo has little to do with external factors at this point. If a failure occurs, most often the cause is in the genes. For example, a mutation in the early stages of development. It's not about you — it's about nature [1].
Can you protect yourself against miscarriage?
There is some universal advice: eat healthy food, take vitamins, exercise, and avoid drinking alcohol and smoking. All of these healthy lifestyle habits reduce the risk of complications.
Many women are especially scrupulous about details: they are zealous in their diet, they are afraid to skip taking vitamins, and they study the possible side effects of each product they are going to eat. Often, this an expression of the need for control: if it is impossible to foresee everything, then you need to control what you can [1].
But during pregnancy, it is impossible to control every detail. Sometimes things go wrong even for those who have followed all the instructions perfectly. Therefore, you should not make unreasonable demands on yourself. If you allow yourself a slice of cheesecake, nothing bad will happen. You also don't need to worry if you drank alcohol before you found out about pregnancy. These are isolated facts that are not going to greatly affect the development of the baby.
What if a miscarriage does happen?
Women react to miscarriage in different ways. Some quickly recover from the pain and soon become pregnant again. For others, grief is great and they need time to mourn the loss. There is no right or wrong reaction, and no one has the right to judge [1].
A miscarriage does not necessarily indicate a problem in the body. It is not a sign that you will not be able to become a mother. Your next pregnancy is likely to be successful.
Though the human psyche tends to look for cause and effect, it is unlikely that anything you did cause a miscarriage. Many women blame themselves (or someone else, such as doctors or relatives) for what happened. It can be a way to give meaning to an event that is inexplicable to them. At first, guilt can even calm you down, but in the long run it won't help. Take time to process your grief. There are things that we cannot control, and we must learn to cope with healthy modes of expression [2].
