Not all women transition easily into the role of mom. It is normal to doubt yourself. Here's what you can do to get yourself ready for this stage of life.
Why am I feeling anxious even before getting pregnant?
Uncertainty can be stressful, especially because we may be inclined to over-dramatize situations and see danger where there is none. Try to reflect on what is scaring you.
Are you worried that a pregnancy will cause discord in your family? Talk to your partner and share your doubts with them. If you both dream of having children, there's probably nothing to worry about.
Are you afraid that you won't be able to be a good mom? Perfection is not a requirement for being a parent! You don’t have to strive for it. Doing your best, caring for your child, and loving them is enough [1].
Are you going to raise your baby without a partner and are worried they won’t thrive in a single-parent family? The truth is that children raised by single moms are no different from other kids. The most important thing is to have a good attitude and to create a loving and supportive environment that will help reduce the chances of the child developing behavioral or emotional problems.
Are you afraid that something might go wrong during pregnancy? Problems during pregnancy are real but not as common as you might think, and if complications do arise, there is not much we can do to prevent them. Focus on a specific plan of action during pregnancy with the help of your doctor and follow their instructions. Watch your diet and get some exercise. You can talk about anxiety-related complications with your doctor and find out what you can do about them if they arise. This can help you feel more in control and reduce anxiety. If you have any questions, do not hesitate to ask your doctor.
How can I distance myself from nagging doubts and worries?
Talk to others. Talking to children and other expectant moms can give you surprising insight. If there are no pregnant women in your close circle of friends or relatives, check out online forums for expectant mothers. You will find that you are not alone in your fears, and sharing them can be a wonderful coping mechanism.
Create an “anchor”. Come up with a “stop light” that will remind you to ground yourself and distract you from negative thoughts. It can be a keyword, a reminder of something good, or even a favorite fragrance.
Practice meditation. Research shows that meditation helps us focus on the present and find peace and mental balance [2]. Meditation is easier than it seems and can take only 10-15 minutes. There are a lot of exercises and techniques, choose the one that suits you best [3].
Get some exercise. Physical activity releases endorphins, it improves well-being, increases self-confidence, helps regulate your emotions, and can reduce symptoms of depression [4, 5]. Swimming, yoga, aerobic exercises, or a peaceful walk are perfect. If at all possible, take a walk around a park or near the beach, or hike an easy trail. Spending time in nature offers more psychological benefits than exercising indoors [6].
Watch a good movie. Films that shed a positive light on pregnancy, books about motherhood, and uplifting stories can help you feel calmer and remind you of the best parts of becoming a parent.
