“Single mother by choice” is the name given to women who deliberately decided to have a child without a partner [1]. Below, you can find questions and answers on a few of the options available and what you may need to prepare for.
How can I get pregnant if there is no candidate for the role of father?
Modern technologies make it possible to conceive a child without a partner, via a donor, or an agreement.
Option 1. Using a donor.
You can use the biomaterial of someone you know or choose one from a sperm bank. The sperm can be used in different ways, either introduced into the uterine cavity before ovulation (known as insemination) or through IVF [2]. The second option is for women who may have fertility issues.
Option 2. Co-parenting.
Some people choose to co-parent, forming a relationship through which they conceive a child but are not in a committed or romantic relationship [3]. Even before conception, the partners can agree on how to share the responsibility of raising the baby. A sexual relationship is not necessary, as there is the option of artificial insemination or IVF, although some decide to conceive “naturally.”
If you are looking for an anonymous donor, the option is a sperm bank. These clinics screen donors extensively and can provide information to help you choose one. In some countries, you can find a non-anonymous donor, and even one willing to co-parent, through websites such as Coparents.co.uk , Storkforlife.com , PollenTree.com (Great Britain), Сo-Parents.fr (France), Familyship.org , Co-eltern.de (Germany), Co-parentmatch.com (USA).
Is it okay for a child to grow up in a single-parent family?
Professor Susan Golombok from the University of Cambridge has studied this issue for over 15 years. Her main conclusion is that if a mother consciously decides to have a baby by herself, the child will not be fundamentally different from those in a two-parent household [1].
Will a child from an anonymous donor be able to find out who their father is?
In many countries, the law gives the child the right to know the name of their biological father, but only after coming of age or shortly before. Even if the donor's data is forever classified, they can still find information about their biological families. Through genetic testing (which has become increasingly popular), a person can send their DNA to a specialized company and upload their findings to a database to find if they have any matches, including half-siblings. A survey conducted in the United States among adult children of donors showed that 34% found information regarding their biological origins thanks to DNA testing [4].
What are the risks when using donor sperm or opting to co-parent?
Co-parenting may not be legally regulated in many places. The success of the arrangement will depend on the integrity of those involved. On the other hand, sperm donation is regulated in most countries, and donors relinquish their parental rights and responsibilities via a legally binding contract [2]. In the case of anonymous donors, the main risks can be medical because even though donors are carefully examined, some inherited health issues may not be known until later. In an ideal world, donors are transparent about their background when they donate their sperm, but that may not always be the case [2]. You can always take a genetic test yourself, and double-check that your donor has been fully screened to reduce risks [5]. Make sure to listen to the advice of experts and do everything you need to have peace of mind regarding your decision.
