On average, most women gain about 24-30 lbs (11-14 kg), but it is difficult to predict, because every body is different [1]. The accumulation of fat is necessary for the development of the baby and for breastfeeding [2].
I know that all these changes are for the good of my baby, but I’m still anxious about it!
Many people believe that all pregnant women should be overjoyed by their pregnancy because they are creating a new life. This unrealistic expectation can cause mamas to be embarrassed or ashamed by any of less-than-joyful emotions they have during pregnancy. Just remember your feelings don't need to match anyone's expectations — and shouldn’t! Fears and anxieties about your changing body are completely normal.
Why can pregnancy be so unsettling?
Remember what it felt like to go through puberty when you were a teenager? Pregnancy has a lot of similarities to puberty: You are exposed to large doses of hormones, your body is changing rapidly, you are bursting with a range of often contradictory feelings. It may seem like your body no longer belongs to you. All of these elements create a lot of stress, especially if you are used to keeping everything under control [3].
So what can I do?
If you have a history of having anxiety about your weight or eating disorders, pregnancy can be a great opportunity to mend a relationship with your body. Consider what beliefs and feelings make you think you should be losing weight. What desires are you projecting onto dieting and weight loss — to feel special or desired? Maybe you want to drown out a fear or get the approval of certain people? How can you show yourself that these desires are separate from your weight [4]?
Perhaps you understand rationally that a constant desire to lose weight is illogical and unhealthy, but there is an inner voice that always criticizes your body. Try talking to this voice or even writing her a letter. Thank her for her concern, and then describe what your life would look like without this voice. This exercise can help you understand that these destructive thoughts are not an accurate description of reality [4]. If thoughts of weight gain during pregnancy feel overwhelming or may lead you to self-harm, it’s a good time to visit a therapist. They can provide more support during this trying time.
What if I'm stress-eating all the time?
Think about how you feel during and after meals. What desire are you trying to fulfill by eating? Do you desire protection from fear and anxiety, a sense of security, something else? Speak your feelings, write them down, allow yourself to experience them. How can you satisfy these feelings in a deep and more meaningful way [3]?
How can I come to terms with my new body?
Your current body may not match your lifelong self-image. This is a strange feeling that is sometimes experienced as unpleasant. Instead of dwelling on the strangeness of your body, consider its miraculousness and creativity. Your body is growing a new human! Looking at yourself in the mirror, and come up with a positive mantra. Perhaps something like: “My body is a work of art, creating a new life!” [3].
