If your loved one is pregnant and you’re not sure how best to support, comfort, or help her, here are five suggestions.
Be sensitive to her needs
Most women feel better in their second trimester than at the beginning of pregnancy. Nausea and fatigue fade, and their mood improves. Their belly hasn’t grown to the point that it affects their ability to move around.
But this does not mean she doesn’t need your care! First, not all pregnant women feel that great during their second trimester. Remember that her body is going through huge, stressful changes. Second, your partner may feel vulnerable and sensitive and be affected by hormone-induced moods, as well as intense food cravings. There’s a reason why we’re so familiar with the comedic cravings for pickles and ice cream at 3:00 AM! It really does happen [1].
Be there for your growing family
Amazing things are happening right now. Your child is growing every day. Don’t miss out! When your baby starts moving around and kicking, it’s a beautiful bonding moment for you and your partner. Spend time developing a bond with your child and their mother as a family. Studies show that a dad who interacts with his baby before birth develops a closer emotional connection with them in the future [2].
Openly discuss your feelings
A new baby can bring up complex feelings for both of you. You may feel anxious about the baby’s health, labor, and birth. You might have insecurities about fatherhood and motherhood or financial worries. Your partner may feel that you’re not doing enough around the house, while you might feel she doesn't seem interested in you anymore. When you don’t communicate, misunderstandings and assumptions can snowball [1].
It’s normal to fight during pregnancy. It doesn’t mean your relationship is falling apart. Both of you are going through a life-changing process. Things will be very different when the baby arrives, and you need to prepare mentally for your new roles [3].
The best way to do this is to communicate. Having open, vulnerable conversations can bring you closer as a couple and release the tension that leads to arguments. Research shows that people who seek the support of their loved ones during stressful situations suffer less [4].
Start organizing the practical stuff
Get informed about your pregnant partner’s healthcare and providers. Decorate and stock up the nursery. Divvy up chores in preparation for the baby, and talk to your parents and other relatives about ways they can help.
There will be lots of details you won’t foresee. You’ll have to deal with some decisions in real-time as they emerge. Why not take care of what you can now while things are calmer and you have more time? Talk to your partner about taking the lead in some of these practical issues. She will likely appreciate your initiative and feel a burden has been taken off her shoulders [1].
