When planning a pregnancy, mamas often daydream about their desired future. But these fantasies of happy motherhood can be interrupted with worry and what ifs.
Thoughts about what can go wrong can be frightening: what if there’s a genetic abnormality or a miscarriage? The more often and more deeply you sink into these worried thoughts, the longer the list of possible dangers becomes.
Why do I worry all the time?
Worrying about the future is normal for a person, especially when it comes to pregnancy and childbirth. It’s in our human nature to want to be prepared for all possible outcomes. Everybody worries; some less, others more [1].
When it comes to pregnancy, anxiety only increases. Pregnancy is never entirely predictable. Doctors, friends, and social media posts will talk about possible risks. You may have seen examples of things going wrong [2].
What can I do to combat the worry?
Accept that there are things you cannot control. Focus on what you can do. It is in your power to follow the recommendations of doctors, eat healthily, and exercise. Do so, but without fanaticism. Some women may start to be overly concerned with what they can control and put too much importance on little things. If they end up compromising somewhere, then they start to worry and blame themselves. This only leads to more anxiety. Remember that no single departure from the “rules of pregnancy” will determine the outcome [2].
How do I calm my anxiety right now?
Imagine that your thoughts are movies. The ones that visit you during moments of anxiety are horror movies — they play out terrible scenarios. Try to watch the movie to the end. How does it all end? Ask yourself how you feel about it. If everything happens like in the movie, what will you do? Mentally make a list of your actions: which doctor will you call, who will you ask for help.
Then exhale and tell yourself that this is just one imagined scenario. And there are hundreds of other versions of the movie about your pregnancy on the shelf. Some of them are lyrical, some are funny, and some are boring. Remind yourself that the probability of a horror movie scenario coming true is small [1].
When you're worried about an uncertain future, it's helpful to bring yourself back to the present. Start listing the items you see in front of you. Touch them, feel their texture. Name five different sounds that you hear, such as the sound of cars on the road, the ticking of a clock, and your own breathing.
Another way to calm down is to turn attention to something new — occupy yourself with a new specific activity. Remember the recipe of your favorite meal, mentally list the titles on your bookshelf, count your inhales and exhales [1].
